Yeah... it's another bitch/rant. But that's what journals are for, right? To bitch/rant/complain/explain how you're doing/etc.

So, like all my journal updates, this will eventually get off-topic because something will have distracted me. So bear with my idiocy.

So I decided yesterday... that it is entirely my fault that any and all friends I make, including those I decide to have a relationship, leave me in one way or another. It has to be right? I mean, why else would I go from having a good friend for a few years to it suddenly blowing up in my face?

Or the same stupid shit with relationships?

So maybye, just fucking maybe... I should just kill myself and get this shit over with. That way... everyone will be happier. Oh sure, maybe there will be a few tears to shed, and boo-hoo, sad ARC is gone. But only ten minutes later, everyone won't remember who the fuck I am anymore.

And no, this isn't a cry for attention, and it's not a fucking cry for help. Because I'm not... repeat NOT going to kill myself. Instead, I'm going to fume and be angry and cry and think of ways for me to actually make myself likable and not so much of a bitch.

To those of you who know me only on-line, you may think I'm overreacting, but I'm not.

Don't tell me, NO ONE, that I'm overreacting, because it literally pisses me off and I want to punch you in the face.

I hate being put down, and I've had enough. You start something with me, insulting me or my likes in any fucking way, and I won't keep my mouth shut. I don't care if someone hears me, I don't care if its in public, and I don't care if I "hurt" your fucking feelings somehow someway, or if I offend anyway.

Put me down and you're facing ARCwrath.

This shit is old!

I dealt with it my ENTIRE life with my crazy-ass mother, I don't need it from people around me, internet or not!

As for the friend thing... if you believe that false, fucking prove it to me. Explain how... I only have like one or three rl friends that I barely see and even if I do, something happens and then... we don't spend any time together.

There -was- Nikita, and wanna know how that turned out? Her grandmother called me a whore and she believed it. So we stopped talking.

KT's life isn't the greatest.

Beth moved.

God knows Alicia's parents keep her locked in a dungeon, and I don't mean her room.

I have no friends.

And you know what fucking sucks? Sam, my little brother, is going to turn out JUST like me. Because... my mother won't let him do anything.

FUCK

Fuck, fuck, fuck!

I don't know what's wrong with me!

Dammit...

I'm done.

Any more of this rant/bitch fest, and all you'll get is "fuck".

</ARC>